national autism awareness month

There are over 7 billion humans on this earth and not one of them is the same, that amazes me that every single person on planet earth is so different, there are 7 billion brains floating around and there isn’t one matching pair, its beautiful. Some differences are easy to spot, hair colour, height, and race for example but some things which make us different we can’t see because they hide themselves inside our brains, wrapped up tightly, fears, dreams, and desires. The world Is an amazing and diverse place and the way we see the world varies from person to person too, which is a little bit harder to understand, like how some people see a glass half empty and some see glass half full, which is bound to happen with so many interesting and complex brains in the world it would be ridiculous to think they’d all see everything in the same way. Most of the way we see the world is processed by our senses, sometimes our brains are wired in a way where it confuses the senses and alters how we perceive the world and read certain situations; this is called autism spectrum disorder. 1 in 68 people have Autism, this probably includes at least one person you know, yet few people understand the challenges and triumphs of living with autism, which is why it’s important to raise awareness and talk about it, this week is national autism awareness week, and I want to share with you an insight to the beautiful and complex brain of a person on the autism spectrum.

Having autism does come with challenges but it also comes with some gifts as well, people on the spectrum usually have talent in areas such as science, music, and mathematics, due to the very factual ay we see the world, some of history’s greatest innovators were autistic, Albert Einstein, Andy Warhol, and Mozart just to name a few. However, this can also have the opposite effect, activities most people find incredibly easy a person on the spectrum may find very hard, such as understanding sarcasm and making eye contact. Everyone is very familiar with the five senses, we learnt them in primary school, they send messages to your brain about the outside world and the people in it, but sometimes a person’s brain and a person’s senses do not communicate very well making the brain become confused and overwhelmed to the point a person “melts down” this is known as over stimulation. For most people a shopping centre isn’t a scary place, some people even find it pleasurable but for someone with ASD its overwhelming and scary; the lights are too bright, they pierce their eyes, the sound of shoes on patent floor ricochets through their brain and ear drums, the constant nudging and touching by strangers in bustling shops burn their skin and makes them itch, the smell of all the food stalls and cafes makes them feel sick to their stomach, this is just a general example of how hyper sensitivity effects people. Unfortunately, most people with ASD can’t communicate that they are overwhelmed, so even though there is chaos going around if their heads the outside world is none the wiser. We all develop habits to help us cope in difficult and uncomfortable situations, like when you’re doing a presentation you might look at the floor or bite your lips. For an autistic person, the world presents a lot of difficult and uncomfortable situations and in intense moments they develop strategies to calm themselves which might seem strange, such as flapping their arms or rocking back and forth. These motions signal that they are having a difficult time, instead of judging them and giving them disarming stares, mocking, and ignoring them get to know them and understand their needs, despite having additional needs autistic people share the same need and desire for human compassion as anybody else.

Autistic people are not strange, broken, deformed, or disabled, they are just simply have a different view of the world, and with a little time and encouragement from the people around them they might be able to share their amazing view of the world with us. ASD is a complex and interesting condition which sometimes makes life very hard, but it’s also an amazing gift, the condition doesn’t get nearly as much recognition and attention as it deserves, autism can make phenomenal things happen if people only take the time to understand. We are a community that does face hardship and discrimation but have an amazing perspective on the world but now we are just burying seeds waiting to be given the water of awareness to blossom. This autism awareness month be kind to everyone you meet, you have no idea what internal battles they are facing, phenomenal things happen when we open our hearts.

Q&A

 

What do you like to do most?

Spend time with my horse and loved ones and eat 

Aspirational career?

Not entirely sure, either something taht involves helping people, animals or writing

Favourite American candy?

Reces 

What makes you happy?

Lots of random little things, like how the street smells when it's just rained, seeing the leaves grow back on trees but mainly seeing my loved ones happy.

Best place you've visited?

Too many, but Cornwall or Brighton as a whole is probably my favourite place in the county to visit.

Favourite animal?

Horses or hedgehogs 

What inspired you to recover from your eating disorder?

One day I reAlised that there is so much more to life than now, I have only lived about 6.15% of my life, I have years of opportunities, love, and positive experiences ahead of me and I won't be able to enjoy them fully if I'm weak and UnstAble. I will miss so much of life if I'm constantly spending my days calorie counting and excercising.

What animals do you have?

At the moment none :( I loan a horse though, in the past I've had snakes, dogs, cats, Lizards and fish.

Best thing that's ever happened to you?

This is a tough one, I'm so blessed to have the life I do and every experience I've had has made me who I am, I would say being given the opportunity to get close to horses has been a massive blessing. 

Weirdest experience you've had? 

There's two 1) a random lady who I've never met comes up to me saying she knows my name and loads about my life and that she sees an artistic future for me. 2) having dreams that hPpen in real life.

Worst thing you've been through? 

Loosing a lot of people who I thought were my closest friends and watching them turn against me. And a lot of other issues ill save for another day.

Best thing you've ever done?

Volunteering in the summers! I met four of my closest friends there over the pat few years (s/o to Amy, Beatrice, Duncan and Joel)and it's just such a rewarding experience in general.

Thankyou for everyone who asked questions (special shoutout to loz)

an open letter to mental illness

Dear mental illness,
i know i speak to you every single day and have done for a very long time now but i think its time i adress you on your own, as what you are, not as a part of who i am. its safe to say we have a committed relationship, since the day we met we have not spent a moment truly apart. you have never left my side, or my life, always with me, i tohught you were my friend, you wanted whats best for me but i was dellusional. all you ever were was a thief, you stole my confidence, my passion for life, dreams, goals,and everything i was, but yet like a loyal sheep dog i stood and lsitend to your commands, i tohught you were giving me happiness, becuase what harm can loosing a few odd pounds do.

our relationship changed me, it made me hate myself, i slowly became you because all i ever did was listen to what you had to say, i now know thats not right. why did you turn my own head against me? why did you make me to weak to stand? too anixious to go to school? you tricked decived and lied to me, i thought you were my friend but i now know you just wanted to see my brake into a million sharp pieces then use them to stab me.

the other night we were reminisng over old emmories, you pointing out mistakes i made years ago, i remebered a time when i didnt know you, i had a light in my eyes, a fire in my belly, a smile on my face an d a passion for my life. i often wonder where this girl went, the girl who loved life, wanted to make the most of everything, who was the life of a party and never took know for an answer, it   hit me, i know where she is; shes not hiding under layers of trying to hard to fit in, or faked perfection, shes not laying in a corner waiting to be found, you took her, you dragged her away and just left me as a skelleton of a person i once was,

one memory stands out above all i was sitting on a beach, in a bikini, with more of my body on show than youd ever let me think about, eating chips, just because i wanted to, and i had a real, enuine smile on my face, i had a bag full of books dreams and plans and nothing was stopping me, i was in control of myself and i was happy. i miss it, i miss how happiness feels, it is like holding a warm mug of tea on a cold day, i want that back, a life which I was in control of, a life where I was free and I knew happiness. Where I made my own decisions and wasn't dictated to you by you. This isn't right.

So mental illness, I guess this is me saying I have had enough of you, you have been a major part of my life for so long but nows your time to go. This is hard, ending this is hard, as is ending any long term relationship but it's generally for the best, please take all your baggage, all the sleepless nights, missed opportunities and hours spent worrying, I need my head back for me. I'd be foolish to think this is goodbye forever, I know there will be times where I fall back into your familiar embrace of self loathing and darkness, there will be nights were I confide in you again, as an old friend but I vow to spend every moment of my life fighting you.

Good bye mental illness, I hope we meet again, when I take back the girl you stole many years ago, and the smile on her face and the light in her eyes. Thank you for getting to know me (a little bit too well) but you've out stayed your welcome. So goodbye for now, please stay away, I hope to one day sat I got rid of you but until then, I will do all I can to see you in my life a lot less.

Goodbye,
From the head you lived in and mid you destroyed x

Hi guys, this is the first part of a new series called "dear Duncs", which is a series of letters to my non biological brother, friend and self appointed fairy god brother, so here goes hope you enjoy.

Dear duncs, life is just going on like usual, its raining, i wake up, pull on my uniform, go to school, the same feeling of not overwhelming sadness but no where near happy, numbing me, then i come home eat sleep and then repeat it all. nothings really changing in my life, or the world, everything is the same, i have no news, hot gossip or interesting life insights to give you, which is kind of  boring, i know. but the most annoying thing is i see all of this positivity and exiting opportunities out there but i just cant reach them. i look around and all i see is empty people photographs without names, going through the same routine, they're all talking moving living and breathing but on the inside everyone seems dead. it seems like the more time that goes by the more everyone forgets about the very things that make us human, faith, passion, excitement and desires. i am just getting a little tired of having no news, waking up in a word i hate, performing meaningless deeds, making pathetic small talk pursuing empty dreams whilst searching for the real thing. one day the human race is going to break, from too long spent doing the same mind numbing thing. all searching for ways to feel the void inside: alcohol, endless texting, religion, drugs, mindless studying , whats the answer? we all just seem to live for temporary moments of happiness, the rel thing seems so elusive. the worst thing is no one ever talks about it, we have become accustomed to it or trained ourselves to suppress it because sadness means weakness.

sometimes i feel no one else gets it, but i think you will, like how it is okay to dream aslong as your dreams are not too big because remaining realistic is key, like every single hope, dream and aspiration has to fit into an already built box. everyone seems so out of touch with reality, you know?, eyes constantly fixed on their pones because our own realities are too meaningless. it feels like most people would settle and just survive rather than fight and know what it truly means to be alive. is it stupid that i crave more from life but i do not know what that more is? one day in my elderly life i just dont want to wake up and think i wasted my life away making do whilst i dream endless dreams, and ill only have myself to blame. i cant become that person, i know if i want to escape this same meaningless repetitive routine of life i need to change but i dont even know where to start.

i am gonna rap this up here, live a full life with a grateful heart, grab every opportunity that is yours to grab, stay safe and calmer than calm,
love your fave tree huger x